The Severn Bore at Minus Four – what #fun the #snow was! #360

Thursday, the second of March, 2018. The UK was in shut-down due to the Beast from the East and Emma. Both arrived with fanfares a-blowing, the weather channels in their element as they shared endless predictions and warnings. Yellow, amber red — no, it’s ok, the red is only yellow, no need to worry. But wait, the yellow is now amber, we’re in red-alert!

Whereas we used to look out of the window to gauge the weather, or tune into the weather report that followed the evening news on the radio or TV, we now have constant satellite updates relayed online, through apps on our phones and tablets, from scrolling lines of text on our screens as we work. Witty people posted on Facebook Marketplace that they had a fresh supply of snow in at a good price, and that more was coming constantly — collect your own while it still lasts.

The crisis-planners took the siege approach, storming supermarkets for bread, milk and other items that they need to survive for a day or two, or risk dying. Humour began to wane as the transport system skidded slowly to a halt, like Bambi on ice in slow-mo.

It all became quite chaotic on the news, digital noise that battered us, creating anxiety balanced with bemusement. I can’t help wondering how it could have come to this. After all, this is Britain, a country with distinctive seasons, one of which is winter, during which we get snow, every year.

Who would have thought it? Snow! As the population became resigned to the fact that there would be no chance of finding a loaf of bread, or any mode of transport that is reliable, everyone eventually settled into hygge-mode. All of a sudden the panic switch was left to idle, and communities got their act together. Neighbours looked out for each other and social media proved to be a really useful tool, for a change. People who were stuck in places far away from ailing parents were able to communicate with someone in their parent’s village and arrange help for them — pills from the chemist, food for the cat.

Maybe I am a romantic, but I am convinced that those who braved the cold into the streets to spread grit, or shovel snow, were glowing not only from the icy wind on their faces. They flushed with the pleasure of being part of their local community. People you rarely saw in the village came out of their houses. The pubs filled up with cheer and pictures shared on mobile phones, comparing the size of their snowdrifts — oooo, look at THAT one!

Oh, how we laughed, until we realised that during the two hours we were in the pub it had not stopped snowing and had got very dark. The main road had become an ice rink and the village shop closed up early as they had little left to sell.

Friday morning, at dawn, most people were still snuggled up in bed under stacks of quilts, condensation dripping down their bedroom windows. Little did they know that out there, in the biting winds of minus four, was a madwoman dressed in layers of clothes tromping down to the river to film the bore. It was me.

Clutching a tripod in one hand and a mug of tea in the other, I crept out into the superb virgin snow. As I left, I kicked away the knee-high drift that had created a curving wave-sculpture against my front door. In the street, the snow was easy to walk through as it was soft and powdery. It made a wonderful crunching noise as I walked. That was the only sound in the road, indeed in the village — no cars, no birds, no distant trains, no planes overhead, nor doors banging.

It is impossible not to feel a sense of power and childish delight when you are the first to tread newly-fallen snow. Difficult not to whoop with delight in a street where others are sleeping. I let a giggle slip out, because there was no-one to hear me. As I approached the riverbank the wind whipped up, burning my face with biting cold air, my tea already down to lukewarm, my fingers beginning to hurt under my gloves. Little splashes of English Breakfast left stains as I rushed along, leaving a trail, like Hansel and Gretel. Should I have tumbled into the freezing waters, they would have found me by tracking those brown traces.

Just before a bore comes in, the riverbed is usually very low, and that morning was no exception. Whereas normally it reveals a brown-grey sandy bank down the centre of the river, that morning it was glittering with sparkly ice, metres and metres of crystal formations surrounded by slow-moving water, travelling downstream. I swear I could hear them crackling in the otherwise silent landscape.

There was nobody else in sight. The snow was fell gently, the scene disturbed only by the occasional fly-by of terns or egret. I set up my tripod, worrying a bit whether, like my fingers, the three hundred and sixty degree camera would suffer and struggle to function. Clipped onto the tripod safety and planted with all three legs deep into the snow drifts, I felt it was securely stable against the wind. Inside its little Lycra sleeve, it would be ok, after all, Lycra keeps surfers and divers warm. I set the kit up ready to shoot and stood there, waiting, rubbing my hands vigorously and stamping my feet as I gazed downriver.

It was uncannily beautiful.

The shadowy line in the distance got closer, the water appeared to travel at the speed of mercury — weighty with the biting cold air, thick, heavy, it spread over the icy mudflats, changing the colour to murky brown.

I whipped the camera-warmer off and pressed start for the video.

This was my reward for all that scaremongering and stress that had wrapped the nation in fear. This was peace. Pure, unadulterated snow and pure unadulterated wonderfulness.

Admittedly, pure unadulterated numbness of fingers was beginning to set in too, and my face was feeling raw. But standing there, still for a moment, the sound of the bore approaching filled the air. As it approached the west bank behind the cliff below Newnham Church, a flock of ducks rushed out to avoid being swamped. As a group they flew low above the water’s surface, upriver, only to come back later when the tide had settled again. They always do.

I filmed for a very short time, both fingers and camera being very vulnerable and risking irreparable damage. I returned home cold and with painful fingers and toes, but it was worth it. Soon, all of our lives will have returned to normal again. I am lucky, I have some beautiful three hundred and sixty degree footage from a magical moment by the river in minus four degrees. Life is just a matter of degrees of happiness, make sure you use them well. Better than being numb.

Snow-time is slow-time, it’s a gift.


Since beginning the panoramic drawings, which spanned 180 degrees on each side of the river, I have developed new works by adding that up to being 360 degrees – it feels like a natural progression back into moving image work. You can see them on this page.

The imagery is edited and pared down in a similar way to the drawings. Many are related to the Severn and the Wye. I hope you can see the relationship between the drawings and the films.

Mentoring, critical friend & practical artist support. a-n bursaries announced, take a look

I have spotted there are a-n bursaries available for professional development, so am flagging it up to anyone who has enquired, or is thinking about seeking, a critical friend or mentoring support.

I have a track record of working with artists and art led groups. Am based in the SW of UK but can help remotely, internationally, too. Using online conference facilities, phone and email we can work together in an efficient way, keeping travel costs down and meaningful engagement central to the process.

I can help with practice, marketing, social media presence, development and confidence issues.

Checkout the bursaries here

Read more here

A week of balance and decision making, or not, it’s all about choice

On Wednesday, I had a very interesting discussion with someone I had not met before, all about the choices we make in life. This is because last week I had my head down in a tender for a contract that would be wonderful to do. But the tender was huge, the budget low. And I wasn’t very comfortable about the fee in relation to the workload and the timespan. It didn’t feel right, lacked balance. If it was simply not good enough money, I could let it go. If it was a shorter-term contract, it could work. If it provided more money, or demanded less time, it would be fantastic. And if the tender wouldn’t consume the whole of my weekend trying to answer questions designed for a major supplier contract, I would have happily filled it in, because I would have loved doing the work. It was right up my street, metaphorically, literally, professionally and philosophically.


Last night I was given a session of Alexander Technique with John Stevenson. It is all about balance of body and mind, emotions and gravity. It was fascinating. We began by the therapist throwing small bean bags my way, like playing ball. The instruction evolved as we went. First, I was asked to stand and catch them, as they were sent towards me. Then some were sent wider, or higher. Sometimes I was told to catch, other times not to catch. Then I was told I could decide what to do myself, not take an either/or direction from him. Added to that was the choice to actively move to catch, or avoid. Each movement was a decision made fast. It was incredibly relaxing to do this and it meant my body was finding its balance without my deliberately doing anything in relation to my posture. Gravity will always out. The rest of the session raised my consciousness about how I hold my body in a constant state of tension, and how it feels to let that go. (John’s website)

This morning I see a relationship between these two conversations. And it’s all about balance. In life, in body and in mind. The job opportunity was approached in a similar way to the balls being sent wildly around me and my trying to catch them, because I believed I should. I wanted to get the contract and would move around and adjust my thinking, or position, to do so. But It didn’t feel right and began to make me feel very stressed. As the tension accelerated I knew that, just like the balls, it doesn’t matter if I decide not to catch anything. If I decide to stand still, relax, breathe, and let them hit the ground, it’s ok.

Had the ball game been a competition, like the job application, I would have worked much harder, as I did with the tender. Because there would be a reward dangling, a contract. The ball game didn’t matter to anyone else – the aim was about making me feel stable physically and emotionally. I gave nothing, and had nothing to lose.

Muscle memory in the body is not always a good thing, especially if we have developed bad habits. The brain is a muscle, use it wisely.

I’m really glad I didn’t chase something that would make me anxious. Instead I spent the weekend seeing friends, walking in the wonderful forest on a sunny autumn day. There will be other beanbags, other opportunities. I’ve learned a lesson this week. Thank you to both partners in conversation, even though you may not have intended to have this impact on me.

And thanks to my friends that celebrated my release last weekend!



The Chris Packham documentary has helped me consider why I found making my Crowdfunder film very hard to do.

Is it because it’s also hard for the viewer to watch?

I watched the documentary about Chris Packham the other day (catch it on BBC iPlayer if you haven’t seen it). It was the best TV I’ve seen for a long time. It was excruciating to watch in some places, and, equally, felt like a privilege to watch too. Packham, who has spent his entire life talking intelligently about his subject matter – animals and nature – was now the subject of his own documentary. The camera was on him and his coming to terms with Aspergers.

It has made me think about how we can switch from being both object and subject, and how that feels. Packham trained himself to overcome his deep-seated discomfort of being filmed and having to talk to others, and to do so he actually used his impairment. He declared that he doesn’t care about other people, he’s not interested in them, so that gives him an advantage over you or I, because most people do care about what others think, and that affects how we behave.

As a visual arts producer, I have done marketing and PR for many projects and have always found it to be relatively easy, because it’s not about me. My first learning curve about having to promote my own work in an objective way was when I set up Flow Contemporary Arts. I realised that whilst the name provided me with a mask, the mask was semi-opaque, people soon knew that it was me, a sole-trader, behind it. From my perspective, that was challenging, but it comforted me to know that Flow was my external label. When I produce projects for others, my name rarely appears on any publicity, which is written in third person. To begin with I was muddled by that and tended to switch from third to first when I wrote on my Flow website. As my confidence improved, I stuck to using first person – after all, everyone knew by then it was only me, a freelancer. I had developed my own voice. There was no place to hide.

Returning to my art practice this year, I was again confronted with the demon of self-publicising, but with no mask. I joked about ‘coming out of the closet as an artist’, but, in truth, I really did feel like that, and a naked one too. Which makes me consider that for years I taught life drawing, but have never worked as a nude model myself.  I’m camera shy and always avoid having my photo taken.

I thought making a video for the Crowdfunder would be fairly easy, after all, I used to edit video for my art installations; I can project manage and I can tell a story. But it was torture. My daughter gave me some great advice (she produces documentary films as BlackBark). I asked her to film me, because I (wrongly) thought that would be more comfortable for me rather than a stranger. She pointed out, more than once, that I was pulling weird faces, which she said I probably only use with my children!

Which brings me back to Packham’s TV documentary. Here, you see a man who stated very clearly that he cannot make eye contact with people and has no empathy for humans. He loves animals and cares for them tenderly, with passion and commitment. We find watching animals on screen entertaining, so why is watching human subjects speak about themselves to camera so uncomfortable?

Packham can’t bear social situations and avoids them wherever possible. He became his own subject for research and set out to look at how others manage, and try to fix, their condition. He lives alone, miles from anywhere, and anyone. Which is why it is so amazing to see him being so vulnerable on TV, speaking clearly about his ‘impediment’ and how it has affected his life, albeit in a detached manner. The only time emotion chokes him up is when he talks about his kestrel. Not diagnosed until he was in his forties, he had struggled all his life because he didn’t understand why he was different to other people. It appears that the diagnosis gave him the ability to accept his condition and be who he is.

I believe that all of us suffer from something similar, to different levels, and the intensity varies according to our habitat/situation. For some, an exam or interview will blow all confidence out of the window, for others having a profile picture on Facebook is one step too far and makes them feel horribly vulnerable. Some people who step out into the spotlight and become media stars develop a public persona, whilst fiercely protecting their subjectivity in their private lives.

For me, the whole Crowdfunder experience is uncomfortable, because I feel like I have to sell myself. But I am not up for sale – my art is. There’s a sense of pressure when doing Crowdfunding to share who you really are, to connect with the viewers, to build empathy. But when you can’t speak to camera without recoiling, that’s a hard thing to do. When I’m scared of something, I generally close my eyes. I’m a visual person, if I can’t see the thing that scares me, I can cope. I do it when someone driving a car I am in takes a bend too fast, or when there is violence or blood in a film. I used to do it when I was driving if I thought I might hit a rabbit on the road – but realised that was dangerous, so have managed to control that reflex!

If only I could learn to control the compulsion to close my eyes when I’m being filmed, life could be easier!

Anyway, this is a story I felt compelled to share with you, making myself vulnerable but without looking down a lens. And now, the painful part:


Note that pledges for cards and prints will be fulfilled at the special Crowdfunder prices, whether or not the appeal succeeds (if you still want them). Obviously, the book won’t.

severn bridge aust from raw carolyndng adjusted BW